Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
