I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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