Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success