would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
