dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
