I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the day after is always just damage control
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
