Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
