Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
