I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
please come you make the beer taste better
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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