I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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