so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize