respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
