I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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