Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.