And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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