thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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