I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
