he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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