how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize