I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
