dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
