Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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