If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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