Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize