i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
