You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
too bad you live with your parents still
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
