wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
