he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
