woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
