how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
