i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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