A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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