Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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