An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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