she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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