you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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