you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
pray to the hookup gods
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