woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize