Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
