We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
