you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
