how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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