The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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