Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This baby is an asshole
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize