I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
