I hate all girls vehemently.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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