are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
