Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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