...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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