Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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