He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
