He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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