Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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