im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If that was your dad, he is hot
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
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i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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