I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
