OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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