idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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