why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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